4 words, that are the verbal smack in the face.
*beware this is going to be a pat my own back post*
I am a very observant person, and maybe its the way I grew up but I keep family and friends close. I am also very picky about my friends. I don’t get attached to people, and I don’t surround myself with people who put themselves in the position to get hurt. It’s one thing where you naturally get hurt, but I can’t stand when you put yourself in the situation where you know nothing good can come from it. So when I tell you how I feel, its not just because I’m ignorant, its because I feel something isn’t right and something bads going to happen. Maybe it’s a sixth sense but I just get a feeling.
So after I tell you to maybe reconsider you’re choices or after you go behind my back, and try to hide things from me because you think I’m ignorant, or I don’t know whats going on, and you end up getting crushed, turned down, backstabbed, dumped, confused, and scarred. I won’t be the one to pick up the pieces, I’m now the bitch. Or at least I would like to be.
I would love to just scream, I told you so… from the rooftops, I would love to just laugh in your faces, or just do victory laps around all of you. I could be that person.
But I’m not.
I don’t want to be that person. I want to just be happy. So how do I say “I told you so” in a resolving way. How do I say, I told you so and I am really not sure how this friendship is going to work because you refused to listen to me, because you didn’t trust me, because you think I’m stupid. I’m not, I was right, I usually am right, and I can’t be friends that lack trust in me. I want to express how I feel, I want to be listened to, and I want to not be taken as a joke.
How can I be right?
Monday, May 23, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
lets just take some time to recap what has just happened.
I finished my first year of college. I said goodbye to people I would never see again last night. and now...
well now I have 4 months to do whatever the hell I would like.
its funny to think about the begining of my freshman year in comparison to now.. and to look at the rollercoaster I just rode.
some people I started off close to, then we stopped talking, and now were okay..
some people I started off super close to, and at the very end.. well that was the end.
some people I didnt know who they are.. and now were besties.
and well some people just stayed acquaintances.
its just interesting to see how much these people can change, in just 7 months.
okay so some of the people realllllyy ... I mean reeealllly got on my nerves.. but I really do not think I would have survived the whole year in a different department. I would be lost in a university this large with out being forced to work with a small group of people year round.
I moved into an engineering dorm second semester and I woulkd talk to some of the people and watch some of their tutoring sessions.. that shits mad confusing.. and aloot of work..
but then I think.. if they were thrown into a quick change they would probably shit their pants.
well anyway... URI Theatre.. it has been a great year, thanks for all the awesomeness, can't wait for next year...
well I can wait.. but It wont be that bad when I go back! :D!
well now I have 4 months to do whatever the hell I would like.
its funny to think about the begining of my freshman year in comparison to now.. and to look at the rollercoaster I just rode.
some people I started off close to, then we stopped talking, and now were okay..
some people I started off super close to, and at the very end.. well that was the end.
some people I didnt know who they are.. and now were besties.
and well some people just stayed acquaintances.
its just interesting to see how much these people can change, in just 7 months.
okay so some of the people realllllyy ... I mean reeealllly got on my nerves.. but I really do not think I would have survived the whole year in a different department. I would be lost in a university this large with out being forced to work with a small group of people year round.
I moved into an engineering dorm second semester and I woulkd talk to some of the people and watch some of their tutoring sessions.. that shits mad confusing.. and aloot of work..
but then I think.. if they were thrown into a quick change they would probably shit their pants.
well anyway... URI Theatre.. it has been a great year, thanks for all the awesomeness, can't wait for next year...
well I can wait.. but It wont be that bad when I go back! :D!
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