I’m just really confused.
How can you complain about it one second and then as soon as someone else shows interest in it you claim it as if its been yours all along.
Something doesn’t feel right. I feel like my feelings don’t matter to you, well they do if yours are satisfied. But. That’s cool. I guess.

Just another cheesy post-birthday ponder post.

So yes. Yesterday was my birthday and I turned 20. Nothing special.

And that's where I'm confused. It's was just another day.
Infact it was worse than any other day.

I just felt sad.
Wich makes me feel guilty because everyone went out of their way to change that. I don't want to come off ungrateful but that's how I feel.

Now I'm trying to figure out why.

There is an abundance of work that I have to get done which I keep procrastinating and it makes me even more stressed.
I didn't sleep much this weekend.
And i really miss home.
Im over thinking relationships and I'm leading myself on.

But I think I've come to the conclusion that I am actually feeling lonely.

And this makes me feel even more guilty because I don't want the wonderful people around me to think that I don't take them seriously.
I just feel like I going with the motions and not really interacting with people. I also been having trouble communicating.
I feel unintelligent. I feel uneducated. I feel sheltered and one-sided.

Dumb.

I blame it on nerves but I think it's has a more deep rooted source.

So to wrap this self evaluation up, I think my only 20th birthday resolution is:

Be Happy.