Just another cheesy post-birthday ponder post.

So yes. Yesterday was my birthday and I turned 20. Nothing special.

And that's where I'm confused. It's was just another day.
Infact it was worse than any other day.

I just felt sad.
Wich makes me feel guilty because everyone went out of their way to change that. I don't want to come off ungrateful but that's how I feel.

Now I'm trying to figure out why.

There is an abundance of work that I have to get done which I keep procrastinating and it makes me even more stressed.
I didn't sleep much this weekend.
And i really miss home.
Im over thinking relationships and I'm leading myself on.

But I think I've come to the conclusion that I am actually feeling lonely.

And this makes me feel even more guilty because I don't want the wonderful people around me to think that I don't take them seriously.
I just feel like I going with the motions and not really interacting with people. I also been having trouble communicating.
I feel unintelligent. I feel uneducated. I feel sheltered and one-sided.

Dumb.

I blame it on nerves but I think it's has a more deep rooted source.

So to wrap this self evaluation up, I think my only 20th birthday resolution is:

Be Happy.